If one wants to compare my looks to the certain standard upheld by the media, I’m definitely average. Average build, complexion, hair etc. Just very run of the mill. Which has always suited me fine, generally people don’t knock the average. However, it has recently come to my attention that someone has classified me as less than average, particularly when contrasted with my boyfriend. Before I carry on, I’d just like to say I’m not offended – just kind of curious.
I’m well aware looks don’t define a person, and what is on the inside is what counts. Though, let’s face it, the harsh truth is that if there are two people who are of equal intelligence and social calibre, the more attractive one will be picked (generally). This is how law firm staff all look so piiiirdy, actors on TV all look very symmetrical, and girl cliques come together in high school. What is so often forgotten, is that looks are a genetic lottery. Unless you have a butt tonne of money, you get what you get. If you’re lucky enough to have a fast metabolism and clear skin – it is luck. You didn’t choose to have those things unless you throw time and money at it. Even then, the base is still going to be either deemed below average, average, or above average. I guess the essence of what I am trying to get at is; why bitch about what other people look like when (I’m going to guess 100%) of the population wishes they could change something about their own appearance. Why did this boy (who I barely know) make a comment about what I look like? I’m so irrelevant to his life, and what I look like will in no way ever affect him.
Thing is, I have absolutely made a comment about someone else’s appearance before. Not always in a bad way, not that often, but I wouldn’t think too much about saying to a friend “You look beaut today” or even “Holy shit that girl is not workin’ that mini skirt”. I’m pretty sure I’ll make comments in the future saying similar things – I’m mentally aware that it is pointless and I’m judging someone on something they are powerless to change anyway, but I am somehow conditioned to react to other’s appearances. For F’s sake we even have a thing called ‘appearance medicine’ now.
It has crossed my mind before when my flatmate says I look good a certain day, that I’d rather they were saying I’m particularly funny that day or congratulate me on a point well-made. I do have an internal reflex going on where I’d rather be judged for something else other than what I look like… Am I the only person that has this reflex? Or do I need to learn to accept criticism and compliments a bit better? It’s funny, I’m not shallow in the slightest, my romantic track record is very all over the place if you go by looks, yet I bet there would be some that consider me vain because I like doing hair, makeup and putting together an outfit. Are these elements off my life linked? Do shallow and vain go hand and hand or can they be separate?
I guess this post is just a reminder to me to expect to be judged, and to not take it to heart. Not everyone is my cup of tea and vice versa.