Clicking

Sometimes you meet people and you know you’ll know them for a long time, and sometimes you can feel the stopwatch¬†starting as soon as you meet them, and you feel the pressure of fate looming, and you literally know you have seconds left before that person is out of your life like a hurricane. That happened to me, it was so¬†fleeting that I almost missed it. This sounds like a romantic story, but it’s not. You know when you so badly want to feel the chemistry and the zing and the butterflies, but it kind of deadlines and it is way more exciting in your head than in reality? That’s what happened to me. Looking and seeking that feeling means you won’t find it. I suppose when it comes out of nowhere is how it gets that extra dimension anyway. I love a good surprise.

Hearing someone else say they didn’t feel it first is always a shock too though. I’m one that gives the benefit of the doubt, but I’m learning that selfishness in love is trait I do not have and desperately wish I did. People are so able to put themselves first, and I used to be like that but somewhere along the line I lost it, I dissolve instead of flourish.

I think I need to be very very single for a while. Focus on me.

I need books and I need them now.

Tonight’s choice – The Rosie Project

Signed, Hannah

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