elsewhere

when my heart hurts

the lying of your lips on my neck

are in space

where i feel no gravity 

towards you

you tell me you plan to be

an entirely other self

roaming elsewhere

for a night

i don’t know that person

and i never intended to meet them

you escape presence

of yours and mine 

something i thought we agreed

we never wanted –

who knew

we are escapable 

don’t cry

don’t cry if you knew me 

and i am no longer

you would have made your mark

on me somewhere 

that’s all we do

remember the marks i meant to make

the ones i could control 

i had so many chapters

reread them

and find my mind in the letters

my smile in the ink

don’t cry 

but also, please, don’t forget

cover me

drowning in your silence 

guessing the stories of your scars, lines and crinkles

you’ve settled in

with the forgotten girl

who pads quietly on her own –

stretches a thought thin

and rounds it off with worry

it can’t be good

that she’s made room for one more

in case the chair is left empty

and acts as but a reminder –

the forgotten girl never forgets 

wade

wade through my wary

dry off when I turn around

touch the parts where

I don’t whimper

you’ll find it between

nowhere and no one –

see into the back of me

where the shadows loom

and the creatures don’t stay long

& linger longer

because you may find part

of me that can be felt

with no sound leaving

my lips